(16-11-97):
I write this lirical-prose
only in retrospect to
what I have experienced in the past.
Thirteen years ago
I climbed up the mountain Gunung Gede,
together with my friends.
There are a lot of things I remembered
when I pondered upon
that exotic experience
of the circumstances of the mountain top.
First of all,
for me this climbing up
was similar to the journey inwards.
Because while climbing up
everything actually seemed to bring me
towards the inner part of myself.
It is a certain journey into the soul.
At the very moment,
while listening to the Voice of Nature,
I too listened to the voice of my innerself,
the voice of my mythic past.
It seemed to me that
by climbing up a physical mountain,
I climbed up also a certain “spiritual” mountain,
the “mountain” in my inner self,
the “mountain” in my heart.
At that time
I remembered those people
who never made such a journey,
a journey inwards
a journey into the inner self.
For sure,
I had seen them all my life
as a young man (student).
And I could easily recognise them
by their insensitivity,
yes by their insensitivity,
insensitivity to their own inner voice,
insensitivity to the voice of Nature,
insensitivity to the voice of the other,
and even insensitivity to the voice of the Greater Other,
Ganz Andere,
that is God Himself.
Yes really, insensitivity,
I think,
was a very serious and critical problem
in human being’s relationship.
Therefore I was very sad
if I remembered such phenomenon.
But what was saddest to me
was the worry and concern of those
who never descended far or deeper enough
into themselves to find that serene center
where they would meet and listen
to the other
and to themselves.
And this was the very reason
of the insensitivity
I have just mentioned above.
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